Weddings

So I've been to two weddings within the past two weekends. Since both were christian weddings, I've really had a chance to think about how God can, does, and will work through marriage. Not only is the actual process of getting married a spiritual act of worship to God, but the minutes, days, years, decades IN marriage is itself worship. I've known this, but within the past few weeks, I think it's become more clear to me how worship takes place especially in the wedding. Just hearing from the pastor about how marriage is like Jesus taking the church as his bride, and the prayers for God to use the marriage to bring glory to Him, and the body of believers coming together to support the couple.

God's calling

2 weeks ago, I attended Main Event, a Nav conference for college students to dig into the Bible. Drew Frazer, keynote speaker, talked heavily about God as the true vine (John 15:5). Throughout the weekend, Drew noted various passages where Jesus was surrounded by people. While we know for sure that Jesus always had 12 disciples following him that were christians, the rest of the crowd was primarily non-christian. As we began to look at these passages, I saw time and time over that whatever the situation, someone from the crowd always ended up prostrate at Jesus' feet. For that person to acknowledge that Jesus had power over them, and over their lives, I think falling to their knees was the only course of action that would have been suitable.

How does that look today? I surely cannot physically fall to my knees in front of Jesus. And honestly, I can't come to Jesus through prayer alone. I need the Holy Spirit to aid me in my humbleness. For without the Holy Spirit in me, my body is as unclean as it was when I first entered this world.

Suicide

This past weekend I received word that a senior in high school back home committed suicide late Saturday night. I personally did not know him, nor any of his family, but I knew of him and his family. But from what I've been reading/hearing is that he was a tremendously great guy and a friend to many. Another thing that sticks out in his [short] life, is that he was involved in a few christian activities. Whether he was indeed a christian or not is up to God. But hypothetically speaking, why does God choose to let his own people have the capacity to feel as if they have nowhere to turn, but to take their own life? Why does God ultimately let some carry out the deed, and yet let some decide not to go through with their thoughts? In my own mind, I cannot fathom why God wants to use people through their death, and others through their life. I fail to see what God sees in an individual as worthy of living to tell their "near death experience" to others and yet predetermine that He will use a person's death to glorify His name. I still have so many questions about suicide that I doubt I will ever know, but I pray to my God and Saviour, Shepherd and Light, that He will continue to reveal His plan for my life. ~John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. "

College students and the local church

I've been in a state of unrest on my stance of the said title. For the past 3 years and some odd months, I've been attending a local church that has since become my "home church away from home". When I started attending this church, I was one of about seven college students, and about fifty people that consisted of families and elderly couples. Now, however, the ratio has shifted. The church is forward minded, in the sense that it has contemporary music, and a "small town" atmosphere about it. Because of this, more and more college students have sought out this church: to the point that the college-aged population of the church far exceeds that of families and elders. While it's nice having so many familiar faces from school, I'm sad to say that it leaves very little true interaction between non-college students and myself. The rest of the congregation feels overwhelmed and, at times, I feel as if they don't see the point in interaction because of the ever-changing faces. For me, I see the local church as an opportunity to learn from the body of believers who are not in the same stage of life as I. I see knowledge and wisdom in my elders that I often don't see in my peers. And yet I can't get to that knowledge and wisdom in a church dominated by college students. And so I find myself in a spiritual quandary. Do I stay and perservere amid the "masses" of college students, or do I uproot from what I've come to know and love, only to shop for another church that would only be my home for another year and half?

Singleness

So about 3 weeks ago, I posted on my xanga account (www.xanga.com/servantofstrength), and now that I reread it, I think it's worthy to go onto my blogger site; which serves for my more personal and heart-felt posts... posts that aren't just happy-go-lucky posts that recap what my week/day consisted of. So here is my post.

Last night was a milestone for me. I realized that I'm still somewhat bitter about being single. The only thing that's changed over the years is how well I'm able to mask that bitterness. All of today I went over and over my reasons for staying single. At this point in my life I can really only come up with a couple. School was one and the other was I'm still not ready. I've grown out of my 'not confident enough' excuse and I can't say that I still think girls have cooties (even though they do). What brought this about? Last night I hung out with Linda and her little cousin Grace. Grace is 2 years old and she was fun to watch. But as I watched Linda and Grace play together, I couldn't help to think about my current state of singleness. I wanted something more than myself... insert "relationship stuff" here. Today I had to remind myself that I'm still in school, not living on my own, don't have a consistent pay check, not on my own insurance, and probably most importantly I'm not physically/mentally/spiritually able to be the "man" of a relationship. Physical meaning I'm currently not the bread winner. Mental meaning I still make poor decisions for myself, so what makes me think I can make the right decisions for someone else. And spiritual meaning that I still need to work on my relationship with God before I can come up beside someone and encourage them to follow God. And so I continue on tonight, knowing that it will be several more years before I will be able to cross some of those convictions off of my list.

Maturity

So, yesterday was my birthday...the big 21. I went out and had 2 drinks at Buffalo Wild Wings. But while my friends and I were there, we all realized how many people were there to get sloshed... and on a Monday night. Granted it is dead week, where school is at a minimum and there is room for excess partying, but we just couldn't believe that students would get trashed at the start of the week, especially if they had just spent the weekend partying. It was then, that I realized that we, as christians, are called to maturity. Not only spiritual maturity, but also physical maturity through the way we act in public. Titus 2:2 says "Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance." And later on in verse 6, Paul goes on to write that we are to be examples to the younger [men/believers] through "doing what is good...showing integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned". We are to be responsible with the things God has given to us...and this was very clear last night when I was drinking.

Justification

All I can say, is that since spring break, I have begun to see a change in the way I see things in the Bible. Thanks to Gerald, my understanding of justification and the implications that go along with it have totally changed my view on God for the better. Just reading through Philippians I have seen things that I would have missed. Philippians 3:7-11, for instance says

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

In these few verses alone, I saw justification written all over them. "That I may gain Christ"...how? Through the power of his resurrection; specifically his resurrection from the dead. For the longest time, my view of Jesus was that he died for my sins on the cross. While that is an amazing thing, after talking with Gerald, he made me realize that Jesus' death on the cross really meant nothing without the resurrection from the dead. Having mastery over the earth and sin Jesus was raised and gave [to those of us who have trusted in him] a part of himself to us- which is the Holy Spirit who works and wills in us. Before I really knew what the resurrection meant to me I thought that because Jesus died, my sins were forgiven, but they were still a reality in my life... and that by believing that Jesus died for my sins, he took those sins on himself. But for me, it ended there. It ended without a new beginning, so to speak. However, this passage says itself that I too can be risen from the dead with Christ and therefore giving me new creation. With that new creation in Christ, I can now "become more like him" and that is an amazing thought.

Valentine's Day remarks

So yesterday was all-in-all a pretty good day. Not only did I receive two suckers, but I was able to give too. Yesterday as I was out and about town, I realized that being a single christian doesn't have to mean I don't give a present to a girl. Rather, I could use my money- money if I were in a relationship that would go towards dates and presents- to girls that I know who are single and in Christ. I have friends that are girls that clue me in to the fact that if you're a female and single on Valentine's Day, it can be very rough. So, I took an opportunity of being single to benefit my sisters in Christ. I gave girls presents that they would not have gotten and I hope by doing so, I will have encouraged them in their singleness... that they don't have to look towards boyfriends to supply happiness, but to know that the body of Christ supports them. I also wanted them to reassure them that by being their brother in Christ I wanted to just thank them for guarding their hearts and minds and my way of saying thanks was through the presents.

Act Like Men

This weekend I had the opportunity to hang out with 'da boys' from Crusade and Navs. This is an annual event we call Man Maker. Good times were had by all, but more importantly, many (including me) learned a lot about growing in our faith and becoming a man. Our key verse is from 1 Corinthians 16. Verse 13 in the ESV says "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." I memorized this verse at National Conference in 2002, but I memorized it because of the 'stand firm in the faith' part. Now, three years later, I have a completely different outlook on the verse. I really like how the ESV says "act like men". For me it carries more weight and digs right down to the core issue.

Praise and Worship

Why have I been so enthralled with learning more about the process of large format sound systems? Today in church as I was singing praise and worship songs along with the rest of the congregation, I think I stumbled onto something. But first I need to go back [roughly] two days from today.

Thursday night started the annual Navigator Start of Semester Prayer Launch. Twelve hours of one-hour shifts of pure prayer is the format that gets us through. It went from 7pm Thursday night to 7:30am Friday morning. (A brief aside ... I stayed awake all twelve hours fulfilling an agreement I made with Brian, and also to walk the ladies, who had braved the cold, back to their respective dorm/house.) But at 6am Friday morning, those who wanted to, came back and we closed the Prayer Launch out with an hour and a half of pure meditative worship to God.

Friday night (after getting a few hours of sleep), I showed up to Nav Nite and sat up the sound equipment. After successfully sound checking the band, it was time to start. I assumed my now normal position behind the soundboard and proceeded to enjoy the praise and worship, ever-so-often tweaking the knobs as I saw fit.

Finally, today in church, I sat amongst the congregation awaiting the start of church, when I noticed how many musically inclined people Grace Chapel truly has. Abel Sisco, who has been the church music director/lead guitarist, is in his own right a very talented musician. Case Maranville, who's apart of the band Casting Pearls, will soon be taking over for Abel. And two of the four Zach brothers of Remedy were in attendance today.

So what does all of this have to do with my fascination of sound? I finally realized that, for me personally, music that proclaims God as my creator, supplier of life, saviour, and lord over my life ... truly lets me worship and glorify Him. So for me, by learning how to do the sound, will ultimately bring others another form of worshipping and communicating with God. Psalm 69:30 says "I will praise God's name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving." And again Psalm 100:2 says "Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs." God wants us to give Him the glory at all times ... even in song.